DOLLARS AND SENSE

Common sense answers to questions on personal finance

by Joe Plemon

Q: My fiancé and I are planning our marriage for next summer. In order to save money, I think we should live together between now and then. She is hesitant to do so. What are your thoughts?

A: Why is your fiancé reluctant? Is it possible that she believes that the best way to a successful marriage is to wait? Read on.

A recent study by Yale and Columbia indicated that couples are 80% more likely to divorce if they live together before marriage. A separate study by the Journal of Marriage and the Family showed that couples who live together first are between 50% and 100% more likely to divorce. Statistically speaking, living together before marriage doesn’t work.

As for saving money, I assume you are thinking that by living together you could avoid paying double for rent, utilities, etc. You make a good point that this could save money. However, you are also inviting a number of financial headaches. Are you going to have joint bank accounts? Do you plan to share credit cards? Do you think you will co-sign a lease agreement? How about paying on each other’s debts or purchasing anything together, such as a car or even a house? These are all horrible ideas because every financial partnership you create before marriage becomes a nightmare to untangle if the wedding doesn’t take place.

I recommend that you avoid this scenario and use the time between now and next summer to work on your finances. Individually, try to reduce your debts. Together, work out a budget now as if you were married. Discuss debt and spending habits and the differences you have in those areas. The more you communicate about money now, the better you will be with money once you are married.

I think your fiancé has good reason for her hesitancy to live together now. Only after the two of you “become one” should your living arrangements and finances become one.

Joe Plemon is a Certified Financial Counselor. Email your questions on personal finance to Joe at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it .